I recently was asked to contribute an article for the Organization for Autism Research newsletter. Here’s a glimpse:
Taking Care of Siblings Growing Up with Autism
by Harriet Redman, M.S. Ed.
When you have a child with autism or other developmental disability, it’s easy to feel you don’t have a free moment. Between your child’s medical appointments, IEPs, household tasks, therapy, community activities, and work, your days are full. Not only that, but when you are witnessing worrisome or extreme behaviors or emotions in your child with an autism diagnosis, it is often hard to notice siblings. So it is understandable you may overlook, even dismiss, signs of concern showing in your children who don’t have an autism diagnosis, but are growing up with it.
As with all sibling relationships, there are positives and negatives to having a sibling with autism. MORE
IDEA 1 – Get Life as an autism sibling: a guide for teens. Even if your sibling has a different diagnosis, this 6-page booklet is packed with great ideas from other teen siblings.
IDEA 2 – Apply for the Teen Sib Leadership Award (or sign up for Teen Sib Leadership Day if you a previous award winner). This award is given to teen siblings (ages 13-17) that seek to be better leaders and have a heart for helping others. NOTE: Deadline extended to May 15.
IDEA 4 – Join SibTeen. SibTeen is a “closed” Facebook group. This means that others can see that you belong to SibTeen, but they can’t see what you’ve posted. Only other SibTeen members can see what you’ve posted to SibTeen. More information
The weather in Appleton Wisconsin was absolutely gorgeous this weekend…something as Wisconsinites we dream about to get us through the months of winter blasts of cold and snow. So while I’ve been getting camps organized for the siblings who participate with WisconSibs Sib Camps since January, this weather also prompted me to finish Phillip’s (my son with disabilities) camp schedule.
You live outside Wisconsin or looking for a camp for a particular condition or disability? Go to http://www.veryspecialcamps.com/
Kids (and even adults) gain so many benefits from time away in the outdoors. They learn new skills, breathe fresh air, discover the wonders of outdoors, and meet people they may never have met otherwise. And parents, admit it, you could use the respite.
April 10th is National Sibling’s Day, and all of us at WisconSibs are gearing up for our celebration on April 8th. This event at The Building for Kids: Children’s Museum will feature our theme “Siblings are my Peeps®” This contest is geared to bring siblings together for the ultimate Peeple’s Choice Award!
Think of a favorite memory with your siblings, and create a scene using marshmallow Peeps® to make it super duper awesome! Some of my favorite sibling memories are playing with the laundry chute in our old house, biking in our unfinished basement, and goofing around on vacations.
We had so many different ideas for our scene, but we ended up choosing to recreate our trip to the Jelly Belly factory in Illinois. I still have my hat that we are all wearing in the picture! This trip was amazing; you walk right into Jelly Belly heaven. Any and every possible flavor is there, including (but not limited to) birthday cake, orange cream soda, buttered popcorn (which is my favorite) and wacky flavors like toothpaste. Recreating this memory has been such a blast for my sisters and me. We have almost too many ideas to fit into our little scene. I am so excited to see how our display of such a fun memory turns out!
Take a look at the official rules and guidelines for how to enter on our website under the events/info tab. What will your entry look like? Join us at our celebration April 8th to be eligible for the crowning of the ultimate champion. May the best peeps win…
For a lot of high schoolers, going to college or living in an apartment of their own is a huge step to life out of their childhood home. Having a brother or sister with a disability can make that feeling even more daunting. The uncertainty of what you and your sibling’s lives ahead hold looms in your backyard. Additionally, many sibs feel as if they are being selfish taking a step back from their brother or sister. Since we have always been a primary caretaker, it feels odd to only look out for yourself.
When I first left for school, I couldn’t tell whether or not Aaron even missed me. Since Aaron cannot communicate with words, there aren’t very many cues showing whether or not he noticed I had left.
Spending weekends at home were always a great time. I enjoyed the extra time I got to spend with my buddy. However, things had changed. Aaron was into different TV shows and movies since I had left. He preferred to play the Wii over the computer. I was feeling overwhelmed that I had missed even the small parts of his life.
Besides feeling out of the loop, there’s always the big question of who will take care of Aaron when my parents are no longer able. I realized that when looking at new communities for me to live in, I was looking at things such as whether or not there were programs for people with disabilities, how good the sidewalks were, and if homes and neighborhoods were easily accessible.
Slowly I began to realize that I was trying to create my own life around Aaron, rather than Aaron’s life being around mine. In order to feel my own sense of security, I need to create my own stable new life, and find great new ways to incorporate Aaron when I am all settled in. This option creates for a much more anchored life in the future, which will put you and your sib at ease.
As for time together, there is always plenty to come. It’s okay to spend time apart and explore who you are outside of your role as a sib. It will always be a part of you. You and your sib will still have a great relationship for years to come, even if you are not around as much. They still hold a special part of your heart.
Wisconsibs is proud to help our friends at The Organization for Autism Research distribute their activity book “Autism, My Sibling, and Me” This book is a fantastic resource for younger sibs. I had my youngest sister Claire fill out this book, and I did as well.
The book is filled with great information about autism, but it works well for children who have a brother or sister with any disability. It addresses questions such as, “Can you catch autism like a cold or the flu?” “Is autism the same in everyone?” “Do people all over the world have autism?”
Many emotions that come with being a sib are well addressed at a level that is easy to understand. Fairness, anger, and embarrassment are some of the sections included. These emotions can be especially tough to sort through when you are unsure why your sibling acts the way he or she does. It’s okay to become frustrated with your sibling, but finding ways to work through this is key. In my book, I wrote that when I am frustrated with Aaron, I should take a step back and return when I can work with him patiently.
Between volunteering at Sib Days of Summer and living with Aaron, many sibs can feel like they’re ignored, under appreciated, and left out. This theme is very common in younger sibs; I even feel like that sometimes as an adult sib. We do understand that our brothers and sisters may need extra assistance, but it can be hard at times. Page 6 of the workbook addresses this, and has a space where sibs can think of acitvities to do with their parents. My sister wrote “Play with their full attention, go to lunch, and do special things”
Finally, the book encourages children to think about what it’s like to be a sib, ways to try and understand your sib, and how to explain their brother or sister to a friend. I wrote, “Aaron moves his arms and legs a lot when he’s excited. This is because he has Angelman’s Syndrome”
I had a great experience exploring this book both on my own and with my sister. You can view more details on the activity book by clicking here. If you or someone you know would like to find out how to get a free copy, email us at sibshops@wpstaging.simple.biz
We’re still deep in the cold of winter (actually having a “snow day” today), but looking forward to the warm, fun days of summer! That means it is time to enroll in this summer’s Sibling Summer Programs. Enclosed is a brochure with the details. Take a look, dream about how much fun you’ll have this summer in the warm sunshine, and sign up early. These programs are very popular and fill fast!
May 1Deadline for application for Teen Sib Leadership Award and Teen Sib Leadership Camp. See brochure for details.
May 15 Deadline to enroll for TEEN SIB LEADERSHIP DAY. All HUMAN RACE donations due.
June 1 Deadline for enrollment for SIB CAMP in Door County.
June 23 TEEN SIB LEADERSHIP DAY – Plamann Park
July 1 Deadline to enroll for SibDays of Summer
July 18-22 SIBDAYS OF SUMMER – Plamann Park
July 28-31 TEEN SIB LEADER CAMP – Devil’s Lake
August 11-14 SIB CAMP for ages 12-16 Door County
August 18-21 SIB CAMP for ages 9-11 – Door County
For those who may have gotten a printed brochure with an error in the Sib Camp dates, the above dates are correct and the brochure has been corrected.
Starting January 11th, the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center (PAC) is offering an entire week of autism programming. There are many sessions running all week, with the Chicago Children’s Theater production of “Red Kite, Brown Box” as the center of the event. This production strives to spread autism awareness and inclusion through the arts. This event is interactive for those with autism and their caregivers, and has multiple showings on Thursday and Friday.
Wisconsibs will be present and hosting a session at the Appleton Public Library, on Thursday January 14th from 4:30-5:30. “What About Me? What Children Who Have Siblings with Autism Want (and Need) is being led by our very own Harriet Redman. Many people have a brother and sister who has a disability. Being on the lookout for your sib is very important to their brothers and sisters, and is an integral part of growing up and life beyond. Though this a joyful and rewarding experience, common issues arise. This could include feeling confused as to why their sib is different from other children their age, getting less attention than their sib does, and thinking that they are the only one who experiences these things.
Our workshop highlights these issues, and interactively works to showcase ways that we can be mindful of the brothers and sisters needs as well. Finding a balance between a child with autism and their siblings is key to a healthy and happy relationship for the entire family.
To learn more, you can find information on the link below.
I recently was asked to contribute an article for the Organization for Autism Research newsletter. Here’s a glimpse:
Recreating this memory has been such a blast for my sisters and me. We have almost too many ideas to fit into our little scene. I am so excited to see how our display of such a fun memory turns out!
ring at Sib Days of Summer and living with Aaron, many sibs can feel like they’re ignored, under appreciated, and left out. This theme is very common in younger sibs; I even feel like that sometimes as an adult sib. We do understand that our brothers and sisters may need extra assistance, but it can be hard at times. Page 6 of the workbook addresses this, and has a space where sibs can think of acitvities to do with their parents. My sister wrote “Play with their full attention, go to lunch, and do special things”
